What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person.
Some of the ways they bully other people are by: calling them names, saying or writing nasty things about them, leaving them out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do.
Have any of these things happened to you? Have you done any of these things to someone else? Really, bullying is wrong behaviour which makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable.
Why do some people bully?
There are a lot of reasons why some people bully.
They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge.
Some bullies do it to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves.
Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.
Why are some young people bullied?
Some young people are bullied for no particular reason, but sometimes it's because they are different in some way - perhaps it's the colour of their skin, the way they talk, their size or their name.
Sometimes young people are bullied because they look like they won't stand up for themselves.
Why is bullying harmful?
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick.
What can you do if you are being bullied?
Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and secure.
And if you're different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha - stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they're with others in a group.
You've probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts.
If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn't telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped.
Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.
An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family or whanau, or a friend's parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.
What can you do if you see someone else being bullied?
If you see someone else being bullied you should always try to stop it. If you do nothing, you're saying that bullying is okay with you.
It's always best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
You should show the bully that you think what they're doing is stupid and mean. Help the person being bullied to tell an adult they can trust.
Are you a bully?
Have you ever bullied someone else? Think about why you did it and how you were feeling at the time. If you are sometimes a bully, try to find other ways to make yourself feel good.
Most bullies aren't liked, even if it starts out that way. Remember, it's best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. (sourceL http://www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm)
Judo and Bullies.
Unfortunately, at some point in most children’s lives they will have to contend with a bully. Bullies can have a devastating effect on your child and often we see children brought to Judo because of it.
Now, how does Judo help a child with coping with a bully?
Judo is firmly rooted in respect. Judo is about self-respect and respect for others and it is this aspect that is particularly relevant in the context of bullies.
There is also (of course) the physical self defense aspect of doing Judo. Your child will learn skills that they ‘could’ use to defend themselves physically. This however is not what Judo is about, nor what we shall discuss. Yes, Judo will teach your child how to defend themselves, but the other elements are more important and harder to gain.
bowing
Judo is a very physical sport, where your child will be working in very close physical proximity with other children. They will be rolling around on the ground with other children lying on top of them. They will picking up other children and dropping them on their backs, they too shall be taking big falls.
All this physicality is done with smiles on faces and you will never see it devolve down to brawling, with bad feeling.
Judo players are taught directly and indirectly to respect their partners. They learn to expect respect too. Your child will also learn to take a “knock” without losing their tempers. Having this terrific respect themselves and others, your child is better prepared to deal with a bully than other children.
Bullies target children who will be hurt physically or emotionally by them. Physically your child will, having done Judo, know how to take physical hurt better than others.
More importantly, your child will have respect for others and for themselves. Taunting and name calling will have less of an effect on your child as they will know they are respected and valued. They are able to ignore the stupid name calling and this in tern leads the bully to receive less gratification from their bullying and will soon move onto better targets.
Your child is also likely to have friends from the Judo club to associate with at school, who will help prevent your child being isolated; which is when bullies normally target a victim.
Last and least, should the bullying become physical in nature, your child will be best equipped to cope with it. A typical example bullying tactic is to trip the victim as they pass by. A student of Judo will learn to do a forward rolling breakfall, gracefully rolling after the trip rather than falling. That will take the wind from the bully’s sails and more than likely earn your child some respect from the other kids for their “cool judo roll”.
Should the bullying become fighting, well, we would hope that your child will have learned to avoid a fight. Perhaps, they will have the self-confidence and experience communicating with adults in the Judo club, to go and speak with a teacher about the bullying.
Often we see kids brought to Judo to learn to “protect themselves”, but where Judo really helps bullied children is in developing their characters.(source: http://judo4parents.com/2007/11/judo-and-bullies/)